Since the day we were born society has created this image of romantic love that is magical and grand. It’s like a treasure hunt, once you have found your person every problem will solve itself, life would be all flowery lanes, beautiful holidays, and magnificent adventure.
Either it is a movie or an animation everything is about finding your perfect partner. Every princess is looking for her prince charming, every Joe is looking for his Kathleen to drop a mail and every Simran is waiting for her Raj to sweep her off of her feet. But, is it really necessary to wait for someone or their company? Instead, you can love yourself. If you are not with the love of your life, you will feel more broken, will feel incomplete and all what you should be.
This whole search for grand romance has never allowed you to fall in love with your authentic self, you keep trying to find this ideal person and keep changing yourself to find your forever partner and when you happen to find your partner who is truly and madly in love with you, you can’t seem to emotionally connect with them. Since you don’t love yourself, you don’t really understand why they love you. The same way when they leave you, you start feeling alone and destroyed. Don’t really on others for your happiness, because you yourself are the best company for yourself. You were born alone and will also die alone, then why you need someone so badly to love you.
Recently I was watching a Netflix special Jigsaw by Scottish comedian Denial Sloss, he said something that resonates a lot to me, he said “If you only love yourself at 20 percent that means somebody can come along and love you 30 percent. And you would go like, Wow, that’s so much.”
12 Best Ways to Fall In Love With Yourself Madly
I understand how big of a taboo it is, to be 100% in love with yourself. After all, that’s supposed to be selfish but self-love is not reserved only for narcissistic egomaniacs of the world, you can love yourself and still be able to love and care for others.
1. Know “YOU”
All this time that you have been avoiding being alone by yourself has kept you away from your genuine self. If a friend cancels a plan or your partner is busy at work, you shouldn’t dread it. You are a fun, cool, vibrant person why you wouldn’t like spending time with yourself. Embrace the time you have got to spend with yourself.
Get to know you, what you like, what you dislike and what your opinions are. You already know who you are as a partner, as a friend, as a colleague, as a daughter/son, as a parent and as a wife/husband. So much time of your life you have spent in different roles, it’s only justified for you to spend a little bit of time with yourself.
2. Celebrate your ‘UNIQUENESS’
So much of your time and energy you’ve spent trying to fit in a bracket that society has created; but as you start spending more and more time with yourself, you will start to realize that you don’t fit in any of those. You are sometimes shy, sometimes weird and quirky, one day you feel like mother Teresa and the next day not so much, you are beautiful, you are ugly, you are sexy and you are flawed but you are never just one thing.
This whole current trend and society’s standard is a hoax; nobody ever fits in that and those who you think do, are faking it. Only they know how much they are killing themselves in order to be the fittest and the prettiest etc. Every scar that you have, every experience that you have had, has made you who you are today.
Appreciate everything about yourself, no matter how unconventional that might be, see little waves of the ocean in your stretch marks, and let your mind get lost in the nostalgia of the scar that you got when you were playing with your friends. Each scar in your body is conversation starters don’t try to cover it. The fact of life is- there is only one “you” in this entire universe, so you owe it yourself to be you.
3. Go ‘TRIPPIN’
Yes, going on vacation with friends and family is great, going on trips with a partner is romantic as hell, but going out on a solo trip has its own thrills. Soul searching, empowering, and blissful are just a few common adjectives that solo travelers have used to describe their experiences. Along with all of these merits, you will get to do things how you want to, your own hotel room, the whole king-size bed to yourself, itineraries that are of your interest, interactions with locals it’s going to be a magical experience.
All this overworking is just causing stress to build up and you are unable to fully appreciate those who love and appreciate you. So, don’t guilt yourself that you are being selfish by planning a solo trip, you are not. Enjoying your solo trip does not mean you don’t like going on your family and couples’ vacations.
4. Never ‘COMPARE’
The culture of comparison is deep in our society, be it the grading system in our schools or just disappointed parents who can’t seem to stop bringing Sharma ji ka Beta (neighbor’s kid) in every conversation. Our entire school system is based on who scored the most, instead of who improved the most. The entire idea of success in our society is to beat others. The same goes for beauty; there is a set parameter that changes with the recent trend. Everyone is trying to achieve that look; if you don’t fit in those criteria there goes your precious time in self-pity.
The idea of success should be one where when you look at your grades you are able to evaluate it with your previous result. Try to see if you did better than your previous semester if you did then give yourself credit even if you are not the topper of your class; if you did worse then try to figure out what went wrong and what you can do to improve this time. When you look yourself in the mirror, see if the pimple that you had yesterday whether it’s gone not, if it’s gone be happy that your skin is clean and healthier than yesterday, if not then figure out what you can do to be healthier.
The point is to try and be a better and improved version of ourselves every day. Self-love is often criticized, as people think it promotes obliviousness. You don’t need to be oblivious to the truth, if you love yourself always be ready to learn, be ready to grow, and try to be the best you, do not try to be like someone or better than someone. You are different, you are unique, your mind is weird and your ideas are abstract; don’t compare yourself with any other person, its inconsequential.
5. Make your mind a ‘NO NEGATIVITY ZONE’
Negative thoughts destroy your self-worth and confidence. There should be no place for them in your brain, keep them out of it. Everything around you becomes about you when you let negative thoughts in your head, a friend canceled a plan on you “they must not want to spend time with me”, you partner decide to work on weekends “he must be ignoring me”.
This negative voice inside your head, which keeps telling you “You don’t have it”, is keeping you from being fully happy and in love with yourself. If you are facing troubles keeping these thoughts out of your head learn about positive thinking and practice positive thinking in your everyday life. Don’t allow negative thoughts to drag you down.
6. Change your “ROUTINE”
Generally, all of us have a routine and we follow it, but sometimes you should do something different and break your own rules. Following the same routine can make you bored and sometimes it also causes depression. So, always keep on changing your routine and add some adventure and spend some time on your hobbies.
You can also join dance classes; dancing will keep you fit and believe me it makes you feel fresh. It is not necessary to dance with perfection, do whatever you just enjoy. The happy you will be, the most you will love yourself and you will not seek other companies.
7. Make an ‘ACHIEVEMENT WALL’
You should make a bord and put on your achievements and pictures of the awards, this will bring a natural smile on your face and develops confidence and will make you love yourself more.
Appreciation is something all of us like to get and when you see all of your achievements, you will automatically love yourself and feel different from others.
8. Try ‘NEW THINGS’
Always try various things because we do not know what is best within you? So, give time for your hobbies and know the new one. There are a lot of things to do and learn in this world. I am not just talking about singing, dancing, or drawing only.
You can go to a potter and learn how beautifully they make different things with mud or spend your weekend in an orphanage and you will feel how lucky you are. People who love themselves have amazing inner peace and you can also earn the same by doing small things.
Life is not about making money and property, small thigs and incidence can sometimes make you so much happy. The happier you will be, the happier the world will look to you, and people will love being in your company.
9. Do what moves you ‘ADVENTURE’
It is all your choice either you want to sleep or eat. Do whatever you like in the same way also focus on your own health and mental fitness. Generally, people say it does not matter how you look or speak but the thing is, everyone likes to look the best. For example, you go shopping and you select clothes for you, why won’t you pick any one of them just to cover your body. Actually, being well dressed adds confidence to you, so don’t overeat and adopt any bad habit.
If you look thick it is not even well for your health so, spend your time in the gym. If a gym is out of your reach, go and search on the internet and you will get thousands of articles and videos on how to reduce your weight. Believe me, everything is possible so, if you follow it thoroughly you will get results. Similarly, if you have fewer hairs you can have a flair haircut.
Nowadays everything has a solution, I had unshaped nails and they won’t look good at any situation, but recently I had an extension and now I always get praised because of my nails. Everything is possible and has a solution just never lose your hope. All this will make you fall in love with yourself.
10. ‘FOOL’ your heart
Have you ever thought about what makes you feel inferior to others? It is nothing more than your assumption and belief. It is always your brain that discriminates between good and bad, but the heart always stuck on the negative one.
It is very necessary to fool your heart and start thinking logically. If you present logic and good facts before your heart, it will be in your favor and you will not feel lonely or stressed. Overall it is very simple to suggest and difficult to follow, so apart from all these tricks, start your morning with positive vibes and this can make your day. Love yourself and others will start automatically loving you.
11. ‘EXPRESS’ Yourself
It is very necessary to speak up whatever you feel, it means expressing yourself either in the form of writing or crying or talk to someone who keeps your secrets. Some of us feel good after writing, so you can express your feelings in your diary. Some of us feel good after talking to someone. If you want to cry, just cry because when we cry, we roll off our problems in our tears. So, whatever way you like just go and do it as this will relax you and will feel good.
12. Have a ‘ROOM MAKEOVER’
Generally, people in love also decorate their rooms in the same way. They display pictures of their loved ones and have lots of other memories in terms of gifts, cards, etc. So, first of all, remove all of them and rearrange your room. This will really help you. Don’t keep any of their pics and anything that reminds you about them. This will help you and will help you to forget them easily.
You are your every imprecation, every scar, every bad choice, and your most embarrassing secrets; embrace yourself for all the mess that makes you “YOU”. Self-love is not a step by step program to me; it’s about seeing merit in myself and being everything that I want someone else to be for me. Don’t settle for 30 percent love, love yourself 100 percent, and expect the same from people in your life. Breakup is not an ending it is a good chance to know yourself in a better way and it doesn’t hurt when you love yourself.